The American story

Pure existing is all that I can seem to manage these days… Uninspired and at a crossroad in my life that seems forever rocky… The way I feel about myself is horrifying and absurd, leaving me at the days end wishing to be anywhere but where I am… Wishing to be something more, someone to respect and desire to know… Living in this self created prison is causing more then just a little problem… Everyday the problem is given more fear to feed it, there for making it grow in size and motion… My thoughts are full of despair and unhappiness… Hopelessness has replaced hope, and courage is been over taken by fear and nothingness… The burden of the emotional load of the past is taking a real and unforgiving toll on relationships and self in the present… Attaching to the walls of insanity and self loathing is prevalent in all that I do… No longer able to see myself in anyway loving or caring I am subservient to the pain of my soul slowly slipping to the abyss… No longer are the tears for cleansing working to save me… Where will this road become bearable…?